Today marks six months from the decision I made to remove drinking alcohol for my life.

January 3, 2022 - Chargers and Broncos game. We were gifted access to private corp box at the SoFi Stadium in LA by our dear friends (dream come true for Tim and my dad - the only way you will get me to football game in the future, ha!).

It was a family affair with my parents, and I drank tequila and skinny girl margarita mix all day. I could not have planned a more perfect last day of all day drinking. Then I tossed in my boozehound hats, I had had enough.

20 -ish yrs of boozing was enough.

In 2018, I started using a special planner called Hustle and Play.

In it, you track your habits, your gratitude, your work, your play, your exercise… it was hard data that I accumulated years of tracking my alcohol intake and feelings about it. Always asking myself why I was drinking, being mad at myself for drinking. Then the pandemic hit and the whole world was drunk during lockdown. Naturally, my anxiety spiked and I started a meditation app - Shine.

In it, I journaled: I wish I didn’t drink last night -I wish I didn’t drink last night- I wish I didn’t drink last night- I feel shitty because I drank …

Fast forward to fall of 2021, when my sister decided to stop drinking, as well as a few dear friends. From their influence, I decided that was great idea. The only logical outcome to the horrible data equation I was tracking.

I really tested being sober at Thanksgiving, and it was damn glorious! Sister and I had made nonalcoholic cocktails. I didn’t over-eat, I didn’t get hung-over, and I didn’t have normal “family anxiety” it was grand actually.

What I’m trying to say is that this decision wasn’t just a New Year’s resolution. It was some thing that had been cultivating in me for years and when I finally pulled the plug - it was the biggest sigh of relief. To just make the decision of no, rather than… should I today?

The changes in my mental health and anxiety are like night and day. I am so much calmer, I don’t have oppressing anxiety about my business or about the world at large. I am learning how to cope with these types of stressors and breathe through them. Everything is manageable whereas before, everything was doomed.

I’ve taken control of myself and for me, alcohol was just slowing me down. Numbing everything and stunting my personal growth. Since quitting, my productivity has skyrocketed my brain is firing on all cylinders, and I’m sleeping better. I’ve made decisions in my business that were scary before and now it just feels natural and is happening. I’m going all in and I love not being hungover in the morning!

Now, I also do not want to lie and give the impression that I have not had one sip of alcohol in 6 months. I have. I have tested it. My testing always lead to NOT WORTH IT. I want to be real and share that I have sips of Tim’s cocktails and wine. Sips. But it’s less and less as time moves on… it’s a struggle, but it’s getting easier.

That rad box at Sofi Stadium. #Last day of booze.

The next step is the return to social media, because I feel like I’ve lost connection with my community. In the past, I would get on here and feel unwarranted stress around current events, things that I couldn’t control and also having the “I should be doing” panic attack. The imposter syndrome-every time I like look at what this person is doing, what that person is doing, I’m not doing enough, I am not enough in my business.

Day after Thanksgiving- not hungover - sis and I climbed a mountain

Now I feel grounded enough, confident enough to be on it and support others. I learned that I needed to become a non-drinker to show up for myself, so that I can show up for others. I’m ready to support my community again. So cheers to that with a non-alcoholic beverage everybody!

So, this is my underlying story of why we’ve been gone away for so long. Thank you for reading.

Please let me know if you’ve had any of these struggles because I feel like I’m not alone here.